Why You Need to Have the “Talk” with Your Children

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I remember when I was pregnant with my second, my oldest and I had a conversation that had caught me off-guard. She was sitting on my lap, patting my belly when she said, “Mommy, where do babies come from?”

Gulp.

No. No. No. Not yet. She’s barely three! I thought I maybe had another good ten years or so before we got any of these types of questions!

“W-w-well….” I stammered, bewildered. I didn’t know how to have this conversation! I racked my brain, and finally spit out, “daddy put a seed in mommy’s belly and that’s how the baby got there!” There. That should suffice for a while! Her eyes got real wide.

She hopped off my lap and ran to the kitchen where her dad was making supper. “Daddy! Daddy! Do you remember picking me?!” He had overheard our conversation and said, “Yes sweetie, I sure do!” while chuckling.

That definitely seemed to subdue her inquiry into how babies are made for quite a long time, until I was pregnant with my third. I had even discussed having the two older ones in the room when I delivered at home….but that was quickly vetoed by their dad. However, he did agree on one thing: I would be the one to discuss the whole period thing. And where babies come from.

Gulp. 

I firmly believe that had my parents discussed sex with me prior to my having lost my virginity, I would have saved it for marriage if it was instilled in me how important it was to wait. I didn’t get a talk at all. In fact, I learned about periods and everything else from friends and their moms. My mom and I were never very close. My mom was never religious–quite the opposite, actually. So when I traveled across the country to see her at 19 with my 1-year-old and her dad, I was a little surprised when she told me my boyfriend and I had to sleep in separate rooms when we were there. She was taking a Biblical standard and applying it in a house that didn’t follow Him.

The Talk.

Perhaps one of the biggest questions you need to ask yourself is this:

Do I want my child learning what sex is and what it means from a Biblical, loving perspective…or do I want someone else to fill in all the blanks for my child?

Perhaps those who are filling in the blanks don’t have the same morals or standards you do? What if it’s their friend’s older brother rehashing what he’s learned from porn? Don’t even get me started on sexting. It doesn’t take a lot to figure out how damaging that may be to children. I’m really glad I didn’t have social media like there is now (Myspace was just becoming a thing in high school for me).

With children hitting puberty at younger and younger ages (my daughter’s best friend started her period at 9!) and sex being so prevalent in media, it’s imperative we lay a good foundation for our children. Hindsight is always 20/20, and had I had the talk I wouldn’t have my two older children, but I wish I had some kind of SOMETHING. It took me a long time to figure out my self-worth, and sometimes I still struggle with that.

If you’re wondering how best to approach the subject, I highly recommend Family Life’s Passport 2 Purity’s P2P Getaway Kit.

passport

About the getaway kit:
(1) Tour Guide for the parent, (1) Travel Journal for the preteen including 25 follow-up devotions, and (8) CDs containing 5 sessions, scripture memory songs and downloadable MP3s:  Session 1: Beginning the Journey – Challenges, Traps, and Choices; Session 2: Running With The Herd – Friendships and Peer Pressure; Session 3: Ready For An Upgrade? – Changes in Him, Changes in Her; Session 4: Destination: Lé Pure – Setting Boundaries; Session 5: Crossing The Date Line – Seeing Dating Differently
Your child begins the journey into adolescence in a world of sexting, bullying, online stalking and moral defiance.  Innocence is under attack, and you cannot win the battle with a single awkward talk or a strict set of rules.  The primary defense for your child is a strong relationship with you and with God.  FamilyLife developed Passport2Purity (P2P) to assist you in building heart-to-heart communication with your preteen while laying a foundation of purity that will prepare him or her for the turbulent years ahead.  Through the shared listening experience, object lessons and guided conversations of a P2P weekend getaway, you can set your son or daughter on a journey of moral integrity – and strengthen the bond between you.  It is designed to be used by a mother and daughter or a father and son when the child is a preteen.  It is suggested that the materials be completed over a weekend away from home, as the child may be more open to discussing the topics away from his or her normal environment.  If this isn’t possible, the material can be completed over a period of four or five weeks.
We took our getaway to the Seed Saver’s Exchange annual conference and campout held in Decorah, Iowa. While the entire family came along, there were many breakaway sessions where my oldest and I were able to work through the tour. We enjoyed great organic, locally sourced, non-GMO food, music, and learned how to save seeds. Our first night camping, we had an awful thunderstorm roll through so around 3:30am we had to move to the car to sleep. We enjoyed ourselves, though, and the “talk” wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be!
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My oldest daughter and me
My oldest daughter and me
S O C I A L • C O R N E R
 
 
 
Twitter: @FamilyLifeToday @DennisRainey @BarbaraRainey 
 
 
Official Website to Purchase: https://shop.familylife.com/p-1988-passport2purity-getaway-kit.aspx?utm_source=FL&utm_medium=image&utm_campaign=hpresource get 25% off the getaway kit by using the promo code PASSPORT on their website.  This promo code is good through 8/31/15.  

 

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