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My Biggest Regret
As I lay in the hospital bed, moaning even through multiple doses of Dilantin and trying to focus on the
doctor’s words to my husband, it became crystal clear to me: I was dying.
There was little hope that I would come out of the hospital that day, and I immediately thought of the article I had read years ago on end of life regrets. Most people spoke of not doing what they wanted to, caring too much what others think, and living lives that weren’t meaningful to them.
The Bucket Lists go on and on: lack of travel, not spending enough time with family, friends, or children. I waited for the wave of regret to come. I wondered how many unfulfilled dreams and broken promises would fill my last thoughts.
When it finally hit me, I was shocked.
I expected to regret not spending enough time with my husband, choosing not to have children, not traveling, or even not buying that Mustang convertible.
But in the end, there was none of that. Instead, there was only ONE thing:
I had not helped enough people in the World.
As a Spiritual person, I had always dreamed of traveling, helping those less fortunate, some day starting
a foundation. But as a Spiritual Business Owner trying to navigate the online World, I had let criticism, fear, and self-
doubt rob me of that dream.
I thought of the client who had reached out to me earlier in the week, but I had been so sick I never got back to her. I remembered a woman I talked to three years ago and desperately wished I had rekindled that connection. I thought of the woman who had just joined my community, how excited she was, and how I hadn’t taken the time to send her a message to let her know that I cared.
All of these thoughts ran through my mind as the machines beeped around me and my husband held my hand.
I had had every opportunity to touch more lives, and I hadn’t.
As I lay dying I said a little prayer for all of the people I could have helped but didn’t.
Hours later one sharp-eyed doctor realized what was wrong with me, and I miraculous left the hospital.
With a second chance.
And a hope to do what I was really put on this earth to do.