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I’m not perfect.
Shocker, I know. That’s a really tough pill to swallow. No one wants to know when they’re wrong, or when they’re out of line. Sometimes, we get put on autopilot and end up lashing out at those we love.
Just a few days ago, I read a beautiful blog post, A Lesson On Grace from a Five Year Old and it was very sobering. How many times had I unnecessarily spoke too harshly to those I love–my children, my husband, my siblings, my parents?
Just last night my kids and I were making muffins while my husband, Kirk, was doing the kefir. I had been on edge all day, because I had been at work while Kirk stayed home with the kids and my dad. We all had to take shelter because of a tornado warning, and his cell phone service wasn’t working for some reason right in the middle of the tornado sirens. I wasn’t able to get in touch with them and was a nervous wreck. Thankfully, we were all okay but it was very stressful for me.
I looked over at Kirk, smooshing the kefir grains in the colander. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! YOU’RE GOING TO KILL THEM!” I screeched. He kind of froze, looked at me and said, “I’m just doing the kefir like you asked me to.” “THAT’S NOT HOW YOU DO IT!! Why can’t you get anything right??” I viciously launched my verbal assault, again. He looked wounded, but I didn’t stop. “I have to do everything myself!”
“I love you, Kirk,” said Kennedy as she wrapped her arms around his waist. “I love you, too honey.”
Annoyed, I continued mixing the batter in the bowl in front of me when I felt a little tug on my apron. “Mommy, I want to talk to you. Please come with me into the other room.” She pleaded, and took my hand, leading me into her bedroom out of earshot.
“Mommy, I feel bad for Kirk.” Cue the sobering reality of what had just happened.
My soul felt absolutely crushed.
Kirk was just trying to help me! And my little precious five-year old had witnessed me lash out at him again and again! I got to my knees, wrapped my arms around her and held her. “Sweetheart, you’re right. Mommy was wrong. I bet Kirk doesn’t feel very good right now because of the hurtful things I said. Thank you for helping me see that I was wrong, and thank you for respecting me and calling me out in private so you didn’t hurt my feelings. I am so proud of you!”
We went into the kitchen together and I hugged Kirk and asked for forgiveness. Later, I told him what had happened between Kennedy and me. Tears welled in his eyes, as he, too, realized how monumental that was for her to recognize when grace needed to be extended.
James 4:6 “God opposes the proud but favors the humble.”
I am so broken, and so humbled that God sent his lesson through my five-year old.
Was there a time when you were humbled by a child? What did it teach you?