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Trust is an essential part of your day-to-day relationship, and it’s hard to build a life with someone if that’s not present. That said, there are also many components of trust that need to be met in order to trust someone. So, for example, while you may absolutely trust someone to look after your children and to care for the household, emotional or physical infidelity can signify that one of the trust pillars has been broken, and then the entire fixture is on shaky ground.
It can be tough to admit that you suspect infidelity in your relationship. Not only does it make you question what you knew about the person, but sometimes, you may begin to ask yourself what it is you’ve been doing wrong. Don’t worry – if someone cheats on you, that is purely a condemnation of their own decisions and nothing you’ve decided on, even if they try to make you think otherwise.
But what do you do if you suspect infidelity in your relationship? It can be hard to navigate. After all, you don’t want to accuse without evidence or reason. Let’s consider how to delicately handle this approach below.
Collect Your Evidence
You may suspect infidelity, but it’s not necessarily verified until you have proof of it. This is why many worried spouses will often use a private investigator to determine if what their partner says is verified – for example, if your partner suggests they’re going to the bowling alley with their friends but solely stop outside of someone’s house all night – that can be an issue. Keeping an eye on their comings and goings, the integrity of the stories they tell you, and their attitude around you is also instructive, even if it’s not complete proof. Cheaters are rarely utterly perfect at keeping their falsehoods going.
Speak To Your Family & Friends
It’s easy to get ‘in your head’ if you think about this too much, and sometimes you may wonder if it’s just you. Speak to those you trust (especially those who aren’t going to add fuel to the fire), to get an impartial take on your perceptions. It may just give you the pressure release you need to better think through the situation and the issues involved. A withdrawn partner who may not be as intimate with you lately isn’t necessarily a sign of cheating after all, it may just be that they’ve been working eighty hour weeks and are exhausted.
Have A Candid Conversation
Ultimately, you’re going to need a candid conversation with your partner detailing your worries, your suspicions, and give them a chance to come clean in a sincere way if anything has been going on. Cheating is one thing, but outright lying to your face is another, and it’ll take a cold heart to do that. For this reason, if you step forward in the most genuine way, you can be absolutely sure that you didn’t ‘hold your cards’ or ‘play mind games,’ you just wanted to get to the root of the issue. If you find out about infidelity after that, you can at least take comfort in knowing you were completely forthright and honest about your feelings and wanting to work through them – and you should have no guilt at all.
With this advice, we hope you can better move through this tough situation, and hopefully come to a better end result.